Freelance
Traveller#72: Utter Relief; Utter Releases
I received a phone call today. Within moments I was in tears. I’ve no idea what the woman at the other end made of it, but she was offering me a short notice surgery slot to have my much longed for ‘reversal’ surgery following the bowel cancer operation last summer. It’s difficult to describe how much weight lifted from my shoulders, how much relief that the nine month ‘imprisonment’ was coming to an end, how much the stress of not knowing when the surgery might be (with its knock on implications for family and work) had pressed in, how much gratitude I felt that it had come early and was not going to be another few months as might have been.
Of course, there’s a bit of concern over why there’s the slot. Presumably a cancellation of some other patient. Have they run into other health issues that prevent the surgery? Have they changed their mind? Have they died? (Apparently some older patients do choose not to have the reversal surgery as it can be so traumatic, as I found out last year, or they have grown to live with the stoma.) Perhaps it’s a good job it’s not a question I can ask.
Now of course, there’s the stress of will this follow-up operation and aftermath be as much an ordeal as last time? But as it’s short notice, there’s only a week to worry about that. Not even that now. I write on Saturday and I’m expected at the hospital on Thursday morning.
I’m not sure I really have a Traveller point to make of this. I mainly write to tell you the good news and to thank all those who have had me in their thoughts, or written kind notes of encouragement, or prayed. I have appreciated all of those. Where I know about them, I hope I’ve written to say so; my apologies if stresses have meant I’ve not got to it.
It does occur to me, however, that perhaps all this is a reminder in refereeing to consider the emotions in any adventure we’re writing or running. Yes, make sure the plot is worked out; check the mechanics are all in place; have fun adding the sub-creation bits that can be a terrific displacement activity. Perhaps, though, when all that is done, make the time to consider how the characters – and even the players – should or could react emotionally. Give space for that to be played out rather than rushing on to the ‘next bit’. Let the characters grow their EQs as much as they might develop their IQ or physical stats. (I’m thinking more of skills development rather than increases of INT or STR). I’m speaking to myself as I’m very poor at this, but I can’t help feeling our games, our adventures, our memories of the adventures might be much enhanced by more rounded characters and more emotional engagement with the action at hand. Perhaps with suitable content warnings, but that’s another Confession.