Freelance Traveller

profiled by Leslie Bates

Dennis Aella Sterling, Baron Windhaven, Lieutenant Commander Imperial Navy (Ret)

Dennis is a retired Imperial troubleshooter and is now in the employ of Famille Spofulam, as a trouble shooter and as the guardian of Ditzie.

As a young boy, Dennis came to be as a result of circumstances clouded in mystery and secrecy oaths, a ward of the Aledon Ducal household. He was enrolled in the Regina Imperial Military Institute, a school founded during the Imperial Civil War for the children of naval personnel. It was here that he met and became hopelessly infatuated with Lisa Holland. On his eighteenth birthday, Dennis received the title of Baron and a fief on the far (or outer) side of Regina. He doesn't like to use his title as it tends to attract all sorts of annoying people.

To avoid Lisa, whom he assumed would enter the naval academy, he directly enlisted in the Imperial Navy and was selected for OCS. Lisa on the other hand, enlisted in the Imperial Marines because she assumed that Dennis would enter the naval academy. This has not stopped them from serving together on at least on occasion.

Dennis served the remainder of his first term aboard the Bard Refuge and was selected for intelligence school at the beginning of his second term. Dennis spent the remainder of his naval career in various staff and field assignments in naval intelligence.

After his retirement from the navy, Dennis married Helen Spofulam. He is believed to be the only one of her husbands to have actually survived the experience. He is also an enemy of the present Grand Admiral of the Spinward Marches, of whom Dennis has described as being unfit to command a deflated rescue ball in a decaying orbit.

A number of reliable witnesses, such as Minerva, Baroness Hundinsel, have said that Dennis snores in his sleep.

At present Dennis is Captain and pilot of the FS-owned Imperial Mercenary Ship Chauchat.

Dana Wolfsburg

Born as one the grandsons of Eugen, Baron Wolfsburg of Terra, where she used to putter about with a replica of a WW-II Kubelwagen on the family estate.

Dana served at least one term in the Imperial Interstellar Scout Service before entering the employ of Famille Spofulam. She was aversely acquainted in some fashion with Helen Spofulam before Dana underwent the transition from male to female.

Dana usually declares that she doesn't want to talk about herself, and then she'll proceed to talk your ear off.

At present, she is the executive officer and chief engineer of the Imperial Mercenary Ship Chauchat. Some of her fellow crew members think that she should try performing as a stand up comic.

Lady Dizamer Spofulam, a.k.a. "Ditzie"

A number of things have been said by a number of people about Ditzie, some of which are contradictory.

Ditzie is over a hundred years old, but as a result of genetic engineering, drugs, and time spent in a low berth following an incident involving the FS Marketing Department and a black hole, she doesn't look a day over eight.

Ditzie likes elephants and high energy weapons and is working to combine the two in some fashion. This has resulted in a high number of casualties in the FS Research Department and has compelled her to take a number of long vacations in the company of her Uncle Hengabar or her Uncle Dennis.

She also likes high explosives and is a primary suspect in the destruction of the city of Berkeley in California, the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Akbar and Jeff's gift shop on Efate, and about a dozen stuffed penguins on a shipboard holotank.

Ditzie likes to play poker and has never lost a game. A member of the Imperial Household, the Marquis Usdiki, once made the mistake of letting her into a game between himself and Uncle Dennis. She cleaned both of them out.

Ditzie exhibits multiple personalities. A frustrated adult, a cute child, and a raving sociopath with a cutsy-wootsy accent.

She has managed to annoy a number of people. Such as her Uncle (or is it Aunt) Frankie, who believes that Ditzie is an agent of Solomani Security and an obstacle to ascending the throne. And also this Lone Sniper fellow who hasn't quite grasped the fact that he really isn't a competent assassin, or a competent anything else either.

At present, Ditzie is taking a vacation with her Uncle Dennis aboard the Chauchat in the Spinward Marches.